My sister, who has already had a pretty rough year or so, has been on hospital bedrest for the last month or so. Unfortunately, her daughter was diagnosed with hydrops, so the pregnancy has been a series of complications and emotional ups and downs. Yesterday, I got a frantic phone call from her telling me the doctors said they were going to do the C-section then rather than try to wait another week. Six weeks premature.
I got to the hospital a little after four o’clock, having just missed my brother. Most of my sister’s bridal party was there (look, she had 10 ladies in her bridal party, so the room was crowded, plus some family). Ro had called in her people to support her no matter what happened. Just so you know, Broadduses only know one way to grieve or deal with tense situations: joke. Our role is to keep the mood light and I have been especially “gifted” with the ability to laugh in inappropriate situations.
As we waited on Eric, her husband, to arrive (his work wouldn’t let him out early), we prayed. Upon his arrival, the doctors then filed in to deliver the news. They presented a series of options, all of which ended with prepare yourself for the worst, mortality in this situation is expected, usually within a few minutes to hours. The lungs would be underdeveloped. There were a series of procedures they were going to attempt, including traeching her while she was still attached to her placenta. And, as a premature delivery, her small size would be an issue. Once the doctors left, Ro in tears, we did another round of prayers.
A few minutes later, the nurses and doctors came back into the room to wheel Ro out, but then they suggested that we pray. I was all prayed out, so a nurse/chaplain led the prayer this time. After that came the interminable waiting – every time the doors open or footsteps came from down the hallway, we looked up expectantly, waiting for any sign of hope. If you have seen the movie Rize, you may have a bit of an image of what came next. We heard the footfalls first, interrupted only by the occasional clap, then we saw Eric steppin’ down the hallway.
Yalaina Symone was born at 6:18 pm May 11th, 2007, at 6’ 8 oz. They were able to not only get some of the fluid off from her stomach, but there was no swelling in her head, so they were able to do all of their procedures they didn’t think they could get done. In under a minute. Her lungs are doing okay and she is on an oscillator (a type of ventilator) right now. For now, she is doing as well as she can. The word “miracle” has been tossed about, including one doctor remarking that “you’d think with all the stuff we see, we’d get used to the idea that there might be a higher power.” So we remain cautiously optimistic.Please join in our prayers: That as we come to the end of our ability to control things, we know God loves us. So help us to trust in that, no matter what happens. We thank Him for that love and for His love reflected in our friends and family. We continue to pray for the doctors and nurses as they attend to Ro and Yalaina. And we pray for Ro, Eric, and Yalaina, for their health and for their faith during this time.
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5/29/07This time has been quite instructive on the discipline of prayer. I have realized how much we've come to depend on the "prayer warriors" around us. It's been an emotional roller-coaster, good days followed by really bad days. So continue to keep everyone in your prayers.
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6/11/07
My wife sent out the following e-mail that I thought I would share:
Earlier tonight (6:50 pm) I got a text message from Ro
"The baby is doing worse right now than she has since she's been alive. It's really bad and she's in a lot of pain. Please Pray."
Then two hours or so later (9:35 pm) I get this message from Ro:
"In a few minutes she is gonna undergo an incredibly risky procedure on her lungs. If it doesn't work. they're pretty much out of ideas. Please pray hard."
then right as I sat down to write this e-mail (10:25 pm) I get this message from Ro
"the procedure didn't work so now they're gonna make her comfortable and hope for the best"
I don't know what God has in store for little Yalaina, but I hope for the best and she becomes a beautiful healthy big girl. (I started to say baby girl, but I want more than that) It's frustrating for me to think that Ro went thru all that stuff while she was pregnant and then be in the hospital on bed rest for a month just to give birth to an extremely sick kid and then have so many up and downs and now this... this can't be what's planned for Yalaina.
OK it's late, I'm tired and I am in a mood and very frustrated and that just leads me saying the wrong things... I will end by saying I place Yalaina in God's hand and will try to deal with the outcome of that if it ends up being not what "I want".
Please pray for Yalaina along with the Griffin Family (Ro, Eric, Emmy, and Calvin "Bubby")
June 20, 2007 - Sally's email:
Some people are complaining that I don’t update enough (Marcia!!!) and that they never get updates from Ro….. Ok so Ro most the time doesn’t want to / doesn’t have the energy to / is hormonal and it’s not the right time for her to talk. I don’t mind talking about Yalaina so much but it is hard emotionally sometimes, it’s been a roller coaster of a ride with the health of Yalaina and I too am emotionally on that roller coaster…. so I usually update only when I get new info, I also don’t always have contact with Yalaina or Ro but once a week. So be patient I will try to keep you as informed as I can.
I also know that last week I sent out a longer and more intense e-mail mostly that was to answer a lot of questions I was getting from a lot of people and to help you as you pray for her. To know what’s really going on. To know that Yalaina could pull out of this and she’s not just being prolonged on life support. To make it more personal so you can pray more specifically. And finally because I tend to be more blunt than I have to be sometimes.
With that being said …….so I talked with Ro tonight….. Yalaina is not really doing better but she’s not really doing worse either. She has been peeing all last week and currently except she has slowed down slightly (meaning she’s not peeing as much as they would like) The fluid on the lungs is still there and causing trouble, she is still retaining fluid all over (Her nickname that I have given her is Stay Puff girl – since she looks similar to the stay puff marshmallow man) Plus they want her to be a little healthier so they can do a liver biopsy to see what’s going on there. (or as Ro said they are waiting for her to die so they can do a autopsy to she what’s been wrong with her)
The doctors are all very negative to Ro, always stating Yalaina is not going to make it, one telling her she knows of a good cemetery, some acting like they are saying their final fair wells to Yalaina…. But as we know Yalaina has beat the odds and keeps beating the odds…. She wasn’t supposed to live past birth (they said 100 % chance she’ll die at birth) then they said she wasn’t going to live past the previous Sunday (06-10-07) she just keeps out living all the doctors dates.
Ro still has hope for Yalaina and that is encouraging, Ro and Eric still say do what ever you can to help her and just keep treating her. Just because the doctors seem to have lost all hope and given up doesn’t mean God doesn’t have a plan and is more Powerful than the doctors. Ro said it is very hard when everyone around is very negative about Yalaina, she also said that she’s not gone yet so don’t act like she is.
Well that’s about all I know, for now
Sally Jo
June 23, 2007 - Sally's email:
I just went up to the hospital to see Yalaina on Friday night , (06-22-07) Ro was in a meeting at the hospital so I didn’t see her there but later she gave me an update
The doctors like I said before, can’t figure out what’s going on with Yalaina and the fluid she is retaining, which her retaining the fluid is called Hydrops ( http://www.lpch.org/DiseaseHealthInfo/HealthLibrary/hrnewborn/hydrops.html ) I said before, that babies with Hydrops usually don’t make it this far, actually the hospital said in all their other cases of patients with Hydrops they either diagnose what is causing the trouble or the baby dies within a week, that is if they didn’t die at birth. None of their patients with hydrops have lived more than a week unless they have been diagnosed and the problem fixed. So with Yalaina living with it for 6 weeks and no diagnosis, it is unheard of and the doctors don’t know what to do. (remember, she has a team of 50 doctors from Methodist, Riley, and IU hospital working on her) their solution is to just make her comfortable as possible, keep her sedated and wait for her to die. Which Ro hates to hear them say that.
So now the hospital ethics board has now gotten involved with Yalaina’s case. The Ethics board has pulled the staff that works on Yalaina and said: They are to quit the just make her comfortable, sedating her until she dies, all the random blood tests, and the basic poking and prodding her. Also no more doctors pulling Ro aside to say she’s going to die, or being negative to Ro about Yalaina. They are going to try to start some more unconventional ways of treating Yalaina…. Which will even stretch the nurses in their way of doing things, Yalaina is not a normal case and so they are going to have to stop treating her as a normal case. They are going to try massages, baths, putting clothes on her everyday, moving her more, putting her in different positions (maybe even trying sitting her upright a bit more). Treating her more like a real baby and see if any of this helps, or she stays the same, or makes her worse…… they haven’t tried any of it and it’s all worth a shot.
Other than that, she’s still way swollen all over,(you can definitely tell that in the picture I attached) she’s not peeing all the time but still some of the time, and she is still having issues with fluid on the stomach and the gel–like fluid on the lungs, so her lack of getting deep breaths in her lungs is still limiting the amount of oxygen that the organs (Kidneys, liver and spleen) are getting with makes them not work properly.
Well, that’s all I know for now, I hope you all are doing well!
Sally Jo Broaddus
June 26, 2007 - This part wasn't written anywhere but here & now:
the morning of june 26th was like a long dream. the day before, i had gotten to hold miss yalaina. sometimes she did well with movement, other times she didn't like to be touched. that day, she liked being held, but she didn't tolerate being put back. her heart rate and blood oxygenation lurked in low numbers. throughout the night, the doctor's kept calling me telling me that the baby's heartrate just wouldn't come up and neither was her blood oxygenation. Prior to this, at&t was scheduled to come fix a phone jack for us. they gave us a window of 8-5. God set everything up perfectly. for probably the first time in history, at&t came out at the exact time that they said they would. so they were at my house fixing the phone jack while all of the events unfolded. had they not come, i would have been at the hospital when yalaina left us, but God knew that i wouldn't have been able to witness what they had to do to her. when her heart rate dropped dramatically, they started chest compressions. her heart then stopped. so they gave her a shot of epinephrine to start her heart again, but she was already gone. at&t was done at the very moment i got word that she didn't make it. God was at work. i told the kids without actually saying any words and they weeped. their friends' mom was coming up the sidewalk at the very same time that we were walking down the sidewalk to go to the hospital, so the kids went with her. i had to pick up eric's mom, and she drove us there. when we got to the hospital, i saw my sweet girl, laying there, completely unattached, wrapped in the blanket that i had crocheted for her while i was in hospital. i grabbed her, held her, cried, and whispered to her how proud of her i was. we then went down the hall to a more cozy, quiet room to spend time with our baby girl for the very last time. eric's mom, jenn, maurice and later, eric all took turns holding her. i didn't want to leave her. i still don't.
July 2, 2007 - What I Wrote for her Funeral Program: i didn't want to call it an obituary, and i didn't want it to be sad:
Yalaina Symone Griffin*
May 11, 2007 – June 26, 2007
Hi!
My name is Yalaina Symone Griffin and I lived to be 46 whole days old! My birthday is May 11, 2007 and I went home to be with God on June 26, 2007.
Way before my first birthday, the doctors told my mommy and daddy that I had a bunch of icky fluid in my tummy. They called it hydrops. That mean old hydrops gave me a really hard time. It made my kidneys, liver, spleen, and lungs all broken and stuff. On my good days when my kidneys were working a little bit, my family & friends did the "Pee-Pee Dance" They were all really pulling for me. I was and still am very loved.
And when that stinky-face hydrops tried to get the best of me, I put up my dukes and fought it right back with all of my might. In the end, the yucky hydrops won. But since I put up such a good fight for so long, maybe the doctors were able to learn something from me so that next time the hydrops won't win.
I almost forgot to tell you about my family! They've been so great! My mommy's name is Ro and my daddy's name is Eric (I was his first munchkin). I have a big sister named Emminence and a big brother named Calvin. They were really excited to have a little sister. I also have two grandmas, two grandpas, five uncles, three aunts and about 10 cousins. On top of all of those family members, I have my OTHER family who all love me just as much; everyone at The Dwelling Place Faith Community, Traveler's Rest Missionary Baptist Church, & all the people at Methodist Hospital, who took good care of me & tried so hard to fix me.
Thank all of you who prayed for me, thought about me, and hoped for the best for me. I felt the love – in fact, that's what pulled me through. Now that I'm here in Heaven, I'll put in a good word for you, keep my eye on you in the meantime, and I'll see you when you get here!
Hey guys, please remember this!
Romans 5:3-5
"….We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
A Blessing from Heaven
Today:
i miss her so much. i constantly think of her and i sometimes still want to go sit with her in the hospital, but she's not there. the image of her being in a 4 or 5 year old's body running around in heaven playing with the other children is what keeps me going and knowing that when i pray to God to give her kisses and hugs from us, He does.
